*Hits Blunt* So, How Come Aliens Don’t Abduct Black Folk?

Have you ever noticed that when you hear stories about alien abductions, it’s almost always white folk who claim they’ve been beamed up by little green men?

So, by now, I know y’all done heard about all those UFO sitings everywhere. But, have you ever noticed that when you hear stories about alien abductions, it’s almost always white folk who claim they’ve been beamed up by little green men? There may me some non-white folk here and there who claim who they’ve been snatched…but it’s never US making those claims. Like everrrrrr! So, what’s the deal? Are Black people just not abduction-worthy, or do aliens have a secret affinity for pumpkin spice lattes and hiking boots?

But let’s take a moment to entertain the idea that aliens have been visiting Earth and abducting humans (they have). If extraterrestrial beings have been traveling light-years to study our little blue planet, why is it that they never seem to pick up any Black people along the way? Is it because they’re scared of us? OR, what if they don’t like Black people either…

But for real for real, I can’t help but notice the lack of diversity in alien abduction stories. I mean, we’ve got a rich cultural history, dope music, and the ability to make even the most basic of outfits look fly. So, why they not fuckin wit us?

Then I got to thinking… maybe they’ve already tried to abduct some Black folks, but it ain’t work out the way they planned.

Imagine this: Ebony is peacefully sleeping in her home when suddenly, she’s woken up by a blinding light and a strange humming sound. She sits up in bed, dazed and confused, and sees a group of aliens hovering in the corner of her room. She immediately takes off with the speed and agility of a lioness… and… that’s it. She gets away. Abduction attempt over. Because y’all know damn well in cases like this we either taking the fuck off, or we blastin.

But then I considered, maybe they’ve been observing us for a while and decided that they ain’t got no beef with Black people. They’ve seen us persevere through slavery, Jim Crow, and countless other injustices, and they’ve decided that if they want to study human resilience and strength, they don’t need to look any further than Black history. In that case, maybe they’re just giving us a well-deserved break.

But, it could also be a matter of taste, I mean I suppose it’s possible that aliens have been visiting Earth, sampling the local cuisine, and have developed a preference for casseroles and green bean dishes. If that’s the case, they may have decided to focus their abduction efforts on the folk most likely to be able to whip up a mean tuna noodle casserole – and, let’s be honest, that’s not exactly a staple in Black households.

But, iont wanna give the impression that I’m salty about not being abducted by aliens. In all honesty, we got enough to deal with down here on Earth without having to worry about intergalactic probes and whatnot. So, … here’s a thought: maybe aliens are secretly rooting for us.

And if we’re being for real, we already survived abductions on a much larger scale – ones that were carried out by humans, but here we are, still here and shit, drinking water, and living our best lives.

So, if aliens ever do decide to take some of us for a ride, they gonna find out that we are NOT one of their lil firends (in my mama voice). They’ll find a people who have survived abductions before and have come out the other side with a strength that is unmatched. And with them being all advanced and allat, maybe they understand that we’re not just survivors, but thrivers.

We’ve made incredible contributions to society, from art and music to science and technology, all while overcoming countless obstacles.They’ve seen the struggle we’ve been through and the progress we’re making, and they like “nah… y’all got it.” Perhaps they’re even using their advanced technology to record our triumphs and share them with the rest of the galaxies. Almost like we’re the cosmic underdogs, and the aliens are our celestial cheerleaders.

But at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter WHY aliens don’t abduct Black people. Whether it’s because they’re scared of us, they admire us, or they’re just more into casserole than collard greens. What matters is that we will ALWAYS rise above the challenges we face, both here and and beyond. And thassa fact.

P.S. There was one Black man who became famous after claiming he was abducted back in the day. Look up Barney Hill… and his wife…

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